


False Sunsets

by hibiren



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII (Video Game 1997), Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Bad Days, Crying, Driving, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Feels, Gentle Kissing, Guilt, Kissing, Late Night Conversations, Late at Night, M/M, Open to Interpretation, Recovery, Regret, Reno (Compilation of FFVII)-centric, Sad and Sweet, Self-Destruction, Self-Hatred, Silence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:07:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25418944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hibiren/pseuds/hibiren
Summary: Onreallybad days, Reno goes completely silent. And that, more than anything, is completely terrifying. Reno, the man who ordinarily talks a mile a minute, whonevershuts up, just turns off. Powers down. Exists on autopilot until his brain decides it’s a good time to steer back to reality.So Rude keeps driving. Farther and farther out, until the shape of the city behind them is just barely more than a false sunset of light pollution on the dark horizon.
Relationships: Reno/Rude (Compilation of FFVII)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 77





	False Sunsets

**Author's Note:**

> ah it's been a while! I wanted to get this out in between working on other things, so I wanted to post some some angsty Reno/Rude~ (also yes Rude has a convertible because why not I am DEFINITELY on board with that idea, let the man have a nice car ; 3 ; it's just fancy enough lol. And it makes for great stargazing~)
> 
> What's got Reno so bothered? I left it relatively ambiguous so you can come to your own conclusions :3
> 
> Also if this is a little different than what I usually write, I'm currently experimenting with my style so I hope it's okay! ; u ; this is essentially a rework/drawing from an old fic I posted years ago but deleted because I felt like it needed a lot of fixing-up. Years later I finally revisited the idea and I feel like it went a lot better this time!

Late night, open road. A cool night breeze, dark, inky sky speckled with stars. A perfect night, a _normal_ night - any other time.

Reno has his head propped up against his arm, watching as the stars zip past as they drive to nowhere in particular along this stretch of unlit highway. He’s not looking at Rude, and he stopped talking about ten minutes after they passed the city limits.

The drive had been Rude’s idea, especially after the way Reno walked into their apartment a little less than an hour ago. His head was hung low, every other breath a bitter, irritated sigh, but stubbornly as ever he refused to answer the simple question, _you okay?_

Out this far, nothing signals out to their radio. Reno idly reaches over and toys with the dial, turns it to the left, then back to the right, but just shrugs and reaches for the lever to adjust his seat instead, disappearing as the chair slowly dips backward. Rude can no longer see him and he figures Reno probably wants it that way, as he fidgets around against the seat.

It had been a bad day.

It had been a really bad day.

On bad days, Reno curses and screams and breaks things. Rude catalogues every pair of destroyed sunglasses from prior “bad days” before cringing at the number and returning his focus to the road. Reno huffs beside him, and shifts as if trying to get more comfortable.

On _really_ bad days, Reno goes completely silent. And that, more than anything, is completely terrifying. Reno, the man who ordinarily talks a mile a minute, who _never_ shuts up, just turns off. Powers down. Exists on autopilot until his brain decides it’s a good time to steer back to reality.

So Rude keeps driving. Farther and farther out, until the shape of the city behind them is just barely more than a false sunset of light pollution on the dark horizon. For a moment he wonders if Reno has fallen asleep, and glances over to find him staring at the door handle. The dangerous flicker in his eyes - just for a single second, is enough to get Rude to slow the car and pull over. He parks just off the road and peers over into Reno’s seat a little more pointedly after turning off the car.

Reno doesn’t get up, but his fingers twitch. He meets gazes with Rude, but immediately looks away.

“Hey,” Rude tries.

Reno says nothing to that and eyes the door handle again, and Rude can _see_ the fighting in his face. He just pulls his goggles down from their usual perch on his forehead, and slips them over his eyes, tightens them in place. It’s an unneeded gesture, but it serves enough of a point. So Rude leans back in his own seat, pushes it down until the back is as flat as it will go, and stares up at the sky. It’s just about all he can think of to do, because Reno will have to be the one to break his silence. That’s usually how it works. But Rude can never be too sure, with someone like Reno. He might be predictable in some ways, but there were still parts of his partner that he struggled to read. If Reno would ever let himself be read.

Eventually Reno sits up. Wordlessly, he reaches over and fumbles around for Rude’s gloved hand and when Rude sits up to ask what the hell Reno is doing, he stops and frowns when Reno pulls his hand by the wrist to rest against his throat. Squeezes Rude’s fingers around his neck with his own. Behind the dark gloss of his goggles, Reno’s gaze stays low, and the tears that fight their way free just pool against the inside rim. He wants to say something, he really does, and Rude watches as he struggles.

But Rude doesn’t pull his hand away. He doesn’t squeeze, either, because he knows that’s what Reno wants. He lets his hand remain unmoving on Reno’s warm skin because he can feel every pulse of the redhead’s anxious-flutter heartbeat beneath his gloved fingers. Something is really eating at him.

“…Why?” Reno finally asks, barely a whisper as he forces the question through frown-tight lips.

“Why what?” Rude asks, and Reno bites at his lip, presses his fingers on Rude’s more insistently.

“Why won’t you do it? You’d oblige me any other time, _partner,”_ Reno retorts, a bit too venomously.

“Not when you’re like this, I won’t,” Rude fires back, and Reno scoffs.

 _“‘Like this,’_ he says,” Reno forces out in his best imitation of his partner as his fury begins to boil over, “You think you’re - ?! Alright, look, I’m sorr - I just… just… ugh! I can’t! I _can’t.”_

“You want to do something stupid. I’m not gonna help you do it,” says Rude, too calmly, and Reno shoves his partner’s hand off of his neck. The disgusted face he makes after looking down at his own palms churns Rude’s stomach. “I’m not letting you blame me for whatever’s biting around in your head. If you wanna let it out, let it out.” After some thought, Rude adds, “No one’s out here but us, this late. You wanna scream, go for it.”

But Reno doesn’t scream. He pulls himself up and, with difficulty, climbs over into the driver’s seat, right on top of Rude - hardly giving him any time to push his seat away from the wheel. Reno is surprisingly light on Rude’s lap, and Rude’s suspicions are confirmed when he works his hands across Reno’s thighs, down his hips, and holds him steady around his too-slender waist.

He’s lost weight.

“Talk to me, Reno,” Rude says, and meets his partner’s tear-blurred gaze. Without his sunglasses to cover for him, Rude’s usually-stoic face breaks. It’s his eyes. It’s his eyes that give him away. Reno just can’t keep looking at him.

“I got nothin’ to say,” Reno tries, weakly, as he attempts to disguise wiping his tears away by flicking a piece of hair out of his eyes.

“Reno,” Rude says.

The redhead’s hands work their way up Rude’s chest to his shoulders, holding them as he leans down as if to kiss his partner. But he doesn’t, his lips just hover like there’s a pane of glass in the way between them. For all the walling-away that Reno had been doing, it might as well have been the real thing that kept him, _keeps_ him from crossing his own boundary into treacherous waters.

 _“Reno,”_ Rude says again. It’s gentle, it’s too gentle. It hurts.

“I… I can’t. I can’t do this, I can’t,” Reno repeats in whispers, and his pleading begins to sound more like it’s for himself than for Rude’s sake. He goes silent, steadies his voice, and forces a smile, trying a new tactic. Flips a switch, and it’s almost convincing. “Yeah… yeah, whatever. It’s all just dumb shit, anyway. Just forget about it. I’m okay now. Let’s go home.”

Rude doesn’t take the bait. Not when Reno’s mouth twitches, and his smile fades.

“Yeah, let’s go home - ”

Reno’s eyes light up but the glimmer vanishes as Rude finishes his sentence, “ - after you tell me what’s wrong.”

“Are you gonna beat it out of me, or what?” Reno groans, throwing his arms over his head at the realization that he has been tricked. “Just let it go, man! I’m _tired,_ I wanna go back.”

When Rude squeezes Reno’s waist, he squirms against the touch.

“No,” Rude answers simply, and Reno hisses and makes a face like he’s been splashed with scalding water; he tries to pull away but Rude’s arms are secure around his body and by then Reno is just too tired, too burnt out, to truly make an effort of fighting back. But it doesn’t stop him from finally letting out an irritated grumble, and barely-audible muttering.

“What d’you care so much ‘bout me for, anyway…”

“You’re my partner.”

“Well, _obviously,”_ Reno counters, and Rude glares, but the fire in his eyes is gone before Reno can use that spark as fuel for another outburst.

“Partners gotta watch each other’s backs,” Rude adds. “Company policy or not.”

Slowly, inching downward, Reno just lays against Rude’s chest and rests his head on his partner’s shoulder. He doesn’t say anything, but silently a hand slips down to wrap around Rude’s and he just holds it tightly. His hands are cold, and Rude can feel the subtle quivering in his body as he shivers to keep warm against the cool night air. But it’s more than that. Rude starts to sit up, to offer Reno the thick leather jacket he keeps tucked under the backseat, but Reno puts his other hand on Rude’s chest to stop him.

“I just… okay,” Reno sighs, breathes. “I just wanna stay like this for a while.”

“You don’t wanna go home?”

“It’s too loud, back there. City’s just all machine. Makes it hard to sleep.”

This time, he doesn’t say _home._

“Hey… Rude.”

“Hm?”

“What… what are we?” There’s a caution to Reno’s words now. As if he doesn’t want to actually hear the answer - because it sparks his fears and sets him on edge all over again.

“We?”

“Yeah. Us. We. We’re partners, and I mean we’re _partners,_ but…”

“We’re Turks, too.”

“Yeah. That.”

“You’re not gonna quit on me, are you?”

“I…”

And that just breaks all of Reno’s carefully-crafted defenses, they all come crashing down in the sound of his breaking, faltering voice, a bit too painfully. Too many memories all at once scatter around within the rubble of his excuses and Reno just _stops._ He holds his breath. Like he’s waiting for something.

“Are you?”

Silence.

Rude sighs. Takes a deep breath in, and listens as Reno follows, his own breathing in cadence. Slow. Hesitant. Rude raises his hand to wrap his fingers around the back of Reno’s neck, beneath his ponytail. With his other hand, Rude pulls Reno’s goggles back up to their place on his forehead. Rude needs Reno to see, unhindered by his own impulses to hide his fear behind dismissive bullshit.

“I dunno,” is the answer Reno eventually settles on. “I just…”

“You’re afraid.”

Silence, again, but that’s all the answer Rude needs to hear to know the truth.

“…I am, too.”

Reno makes a noise, soft, like his breath catches in his throat. Rude just rubs the back of his neck gently before guiding him closer. There’s no bite to Reno’s kiss, and there’s no force from Rude as he leads Reno in a delicate dance, their tongues intertwining, and he can finally feel Reno relaxing into his arms like this is the home he’s been seeking all along.

When they pull apart to breathe, Reno’s face is warm, the pink in his cheeks just visible in the distant light from the stars.

“It’s… only gonna get worse from here, huh?”

“Mm. Probably,” Rude admits, but offers a smile with his words. “But we’re in this together.”

“Lemme guess, for better or worse, rich or poor an’ all that, et cetera et cetera, throw some rice, yeah?” Reno laughs, his first genuine laugh that night. It shakes his whole body, and there’s a smug look in his eyes as he catches Rude clearing his throat to fight back a chuckle of his own.

“Hell, if it brings us luck, throw all the damn rice you want,” Rude says, and Reno swats at his arm before climbing off of his lap and flopping over into his seat and grabbing the lever to pull the chair back up. Rude adjusts his seat, fiddles with it, but eventually finds its former place and turns the key to start the car.

“Let’s go get some rice, then, ‘cuz I’ve got a lot of throwin’ to do.”

“This late?”

“What’s another adventure, I’m not gonna sleep anyway.”

When they drive off, Reno cranks up the radio and sings along (badly) as soon as the signal crackles back in; he’s carefree and back to his usual self, for real this time. His ponytail trails like a comet behind him, a bright red streak that ripples across the dark of the night sky as they head back toward that artificial sunset they call home.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! If you wanna keep up with me, you can find me on twitter as [duskynebula](https://twitter.com/duskynebula)! (But I post/RT NSFW sometimes - so you've been warned!)


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